Elliott Counseling Group

Anger Management: When Does Anger Become a Problem?

Depending on how anger is managed and expressed, it can have positive or negative consequences. Being aware of angry feelings can be helpful because it indicates when our rights are being violated or our needs are being ignored by others. Anger can also help to energize and motivate us to work at addressing problems with another person or to change our life situation.

However, there are potential negative consequences of anger when it is not managed or expressed appropriately. For example, you might lose your job, your home, your partner, your children, your money, your security and even, should the law intervene, your freedom!

Did you know there is more than one form of anger?
There are two main destructive ways in which anger can be expressed – outwardly or inwardly.

If you express your anger inwardly, you are an ‘’IMPLODER”.  This means that you are someone who bottles up your emotions and internalizes your feelings.  Your anger and other emotions and needs are not being expressed and the pressure starts to build. You may be concealing your anger and taking a lot on the ‘chin’, because there doesn’t seem like there’s much else you can do, or ‘brushing things under the rug’, because you are terrified of conflict. All of that bottled up anger has to go somewhere. This tends to lead to physical symptoms like headaches, migraine, skin disorders, tiredness, and depression.

Remember – All imploders eventually explode – it’s only a matter of time!

If you express your anger outwardly, you are an “EXPLODER” and are someone who shows your anger outwardly.  You might even describe yourself as having a short fuse. If you find that you are shouting, swearing, screaming, or getting out of control, it eventually leads to problems.

So how do you know if anger management could be right for you?
If you answer “Yes” to any of these questions below, then please read on.

Do you explode with anger?
Do you feel frustrated?
Do you feel vengeful?
Do you have a tendency to criticize others?
Do you get upset when others disagree with you?
Do you act politely even when you are fuming inside?
Do you withdraw from people when you feel angry with them?
Do you bottle up your anger to avoid conflict?
Do you get depressed easily?
Is work stress causing you to take things out on your loved ones?
Are your relationships strained due to your behavior?
Do you “never” get angry?
Do you get physical? (i.e smashing things, throwing things etc)
Have you ever been involved in domestic violence? (Have you hit, pushed, grabbed, slapped or kicked someone?)
Do you experience road rage?

How many times have you regretted something you’ve done or wish you wouldn’t have said what you did?  How many times have you apologized for your behavior?

What can Anger Management do for you?
The goal of anger management is not to eliminate anger completely: that isn’t possible, since it’s a natural human emotion. Rather, the objective is to control and direct your anger – so that it doesn’t control you, or damage an important relationship or situation.

The Anger Management tools used for channeling your anger can be broken down into 8 core steps.

These eight key elements are:

  • Dealing with Stress
  • Empathy
  • Respond instead of react
  • Change that conversation with yourself
  • Assertive communication
  • Adjust those expectations
  • Forgive, but don’t forget
  • Retreat and think things over

Benefits of Anger Management:
  • Better judgment
  • Taking responsibility for your actions
  • Feel more empowered
  • Manage conflict better
  • Feel happier and calmer
  • Enjoy better health and feel less stressed
  • Improved relationships
  • Prevent yourself from doing things you may later regret
  • Ability to express anger appropriately and stay in control

For more information on Anger Management, individual and group counseling, or general information about Elliott Counseling Group phone us at (217) 398-9066 or email

Where: 309 W. Clark Street Champaign, IL 61820

Sliding scale accepted.

Most insurances accepted.